Renew your plates on Missouri’s pile of trash plate-renewal website
It was that time again for me. Renew my plates. I used to go downtown and do it. Then I remembered that even though the lady at the desk and the ladies at the window are usually nice (when I’m prepared), everything else in between, the metered parking downtown on shitty one-way streets, the long lines (not always though) I decided it’s better for everyone if I just do it online. After doing so I realize that somehow the MO plates website has been made to mimic the annoyance of the real life DMV.
Here’s my walkthru because you have a few minutes.
Our story starts off ok at plates.mo.gov. Right at the top, a single big link to “Click Here to Renew Plates Online” cool! Or maybe not so cool. I’ll explain in a couple points.
- Quickly it all goes to hell. Next we have a long list of reasons why I won’t be able to complete this process. A bunch of exceptions. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Just like the mean ladies downtown. Why not shove these on a sidebar m’kay?
- After the exceptions list we have the prominent “Click Here” button. That must be it. It has to be, I’m so tired of reading exceptions. Well actually it’s not it. ‘Click Here’ and a page tells me my renewal is not complete. No kidding. That’s why I’m here. Site error? After trying that button 5 times, I realize I’m not experiencing a site error, it’s just a horribly placed and vaguely labeled button. That button is to check if my renewal went through. It’s for people who did this 5 days ago and want to verify the system accepted it. Why is this “click here” button here? The first site page told me to this page to renew my plates. If I wanted to check my already renewed status, that option should have been on the very first page. I’ll repeat this just so it sinks in. On the “Renew my plates” page I start off with reasons why I might not be able to renew and then just under that we have the unlabeled link to check my renewal. Oh but it gets better.
- After figuring out the first half is not applicable, we scroll down to “Getting Started” Wait, what? I thought I already started 10 minutes ago? Oh that’s right, the first 10 minutes you are just playing with yourself. Duhh. If you haven’t realized it yet, this chunk that says “Getting Started” info needs to be placed at the top.
- Next we have a big orange panel of what we need. Now were talking. I like strong color backgrounds used for emphasis. This colored list is good Except for #6, you actually do not need your insurance card to do this.
- Next we must agree that we won’t submit false information and a reminder that’s against the law. I’m kind of mixed on agreements these. As someone who would never do that, it seems cheesy. I’m also not sure this will matter to one who intends to insert false info. Oh well it’s not too annoying. “I agree, please continue.”
- Enter your pin and license plate#. Aw dang it. What is my plate #. Why didn’t that nice orange box tell me I needed that? Oh good it’s on the paperwork. You see if I took the time to find my license plate, the session would have timed out in a matter of a hundred seconds idle time. Then I have to start over. Thanks.
- After entering my pin and license itt verifies my information. Cool,I’m in the system! That’s convenient right?
- Then it verifies your information again (pay special attention to the way your name is listed there).
- Then you have a form that says “enter ID and product code. But then it says if you aren’t from X counties you don’t need to do option one, move on to option 2. Interestingly option one, which is the product code area, isn’t actually labeled as such? But that has to be what they mean right? Hurray! I can skip to option 2, Jackson County has it’s privileges! Option two isn’t labeled either, so go ahead and muddle your way through that, which is the best way to fill out critical government forms anyway in my opinion. Hope I’m right.
- Option 2 is Fill out your name, address, city state etc. (as printed on your tax receipt, and they say damnit make sure if your address has two lines, then use both address lines of the form. ) Ok, Ok I will. I need to follow the format of the tax receipt. I’m fine with that. But wait, why am I even filling this out again? You already showed me that you had my information. You verified it to me 2 or three times where you made me agree it was correct. This is just another chance for me to make a mistake and get kicked out again. And…
- Error, (I’m paraphrasing) “You need to fill out the appropriate information.” That’s vague. So I DID need the product code and ID from Option 1? But I don’t have a product code or ID on my tax bill.
- So maybe just a temporary error. I’ll try again…Error, And again, keep getting it. WTF? I read the error page thoroughly. It mentions I might need cookies enabled. And it links to instructions for IE and..Netscape Navigator? Jesus, that browser isn’t supported any longer and is unmistakenly dead. I’m using Firefox. Then I wonder is this a Firefox issue? I’m going to be really mad if Firefox isn’t supported and netscape is. And what about people on Mac using Safari? Screw this, I’ll go to the horrible unsecure Internet Explorer in order to submit my legal information over the internet.
- Now I’m in IE, ladadadada, doing it all over again. Then I notice something.. When it makes me verify my personal information twice, it shows my name as Last, First M. I didn’t notice it the first time because it’s just a quick verification. Wait, you don’t think that I need to print it that way on the next page do you? But I followed the tax receipt, like they told me and on the tax receipt it was printed normally. Ok, I’ll try it.
- Blammo, it works. Thank GOD.
- Then 38 seconds of screaming, one broken coffee mug. Who in the hell is going to realize this naming convention? I’m lucky. I spotted it by pure luck. Everyone else is going to get pissed off and bring their anger to the DMV office. Why do they want this?
- Ready to pay? Great! Simply fill out your personal information AGAIN. AHHHHH!!!!! You already have my info!!! WHY WHY!!!!
- Next, do you want to pay by Credit card or E-Check? (It’s a trap. I remember it from months ago. Pay by credit card and it will cost you a few dollars, and an e-check is 60 cents charge) Obviously I’m gonna go with e-check but how many people don’t realize this? Yeah everybody else. Later and on other pages, they call these “convenience fees.” Hey DMV dickwads, It’s more convenient for YOU if I pay by credit card or check, because it eases your lines, your parking and your employees. And yet you make ME pay for YOUR convenience. And even though it’s just 60 cents, FU.
- Next we have the longest processing time ever. I am on the supposed double-fast DSL and it just creeps along. Normally I don’t complain about this kind of thing, but if this was dial-up, it’s totally gonna time out on me. After all that work if it times out on me, I’m grabbing my torch and saber. If it happens to time out, it won’t tell me if the payment went through. Then everything’s in limbo. Then I’m going to call the DMV, take up their time and give them the 3rd degree. So, find a fast way to process payments. Period. And if it costs more, you fire one guy from your web team who created this monstrosity and pay for it that way.
- Lastly we end on a good note. A decent 1 page formatted receipt that we can print out. But the happiness of that is quite thin because going back to point #2, because I received this notice that it went through, why would I come back and check that ridiculous ‘Click Here’ button on the front page to verify my renewal. I suppose I could somehow forget that I didn’t renew and I come back to check? Given the rarity that would happen, it makes that “Click Here” button at the beginning seem very dumb for it’s placement.
Ok DMV, see ya next year. At that time I’ll need an inspection so it’s gonna be even more fun. Oh if anyone from that website group reads this. Maybe consider spending about 2 hours, with some pizza and a couple testers to just walk through the paying process like I did. This should never have created this poorly. Clearly there was no testing done. Or there was, but everyone was completed drunk when they did it. And you know what. I know that if their web guy or girl does read this, she’ll be upset. I’m sure you are a nice person web guy/girl. I don’t mean for you to get down in the dumps. But you first need to admit this is bad logic, programming and design, and never do it that way again. Because though you think it’s no big deal and my posting is much too offensive, It’s you who have caused pain to hundreds of thousands of people by doing this, including your co-workers who answer calls and have to pick up the pieces from a broken process daily.
March 28, 2008 at 8:55 pm | computers, general, rants, webdev | No comment
