Craigslistings to cheer me up
If you haven’t found Craigslist, it’s free classified ads 24/7. Easy, useful, valuable. It’s also a lot of laughs too. I loved some of the entries I recently read. I figured I could share them without much trouble.
The barter section was interesting tonight. Here are a few:
“Have a vacation…Give me your used electronics and whatever else”
Do you want my wallet too? Wait, that’s not a knife is it?
“I need diapers, what do you need?”
Whoa, relax there now and be careful what you wish for. You might find yourself writing another entry just moments later like..
“No longer needing diapers..thanks”
You get the feeling either their shit storm cleared up, or they couldn’t handle all the heckling they recieved by email. Also I like this because instead of deleting the entry, which is what you are supposed to do, they thought adding a new one would cancel out the old one more efficiently.
Or how about the guy who can’t seem to get rid of the…
One Kikkoman Gallon of Soy Sauce for Trade
“I have a new unopend gallon of Kikkomann Soy Sauce that I am willing to trade for something. Please email me at the listed address. Thanks Derrick “
A gallon for trade? I suppose it’s safer to barter items like that. Keeps the IRS off his back. Or he’s trying to screw his wife out of the one thing she really wanted in the divorce. Besides, surely no one would ever figure out it only costs 3 bucks at Costco for a gallon of the black gold.
But there is a silver lining to the soy sauce problem. Someone named Anonymous person responds to the soy sauce ad with his own ad.
re: kikkoman soy sauce trade
Are you interested in a hello kitty boom box?
This online exchange, so beautiful must have manifested for my sheer amusement. If you don’t know about Craigslist, it’s pretty simple you read an ad and then just email the poster of the ad at the given address. But this guy decides to put up his own ad in response. This genius named ‘Anonymous’ according to his ad lives in or around Chinesebuffetsville which I suspect is north of the river somewhere.
Alas, Soy Sauce man, again fails to go through the proper channel, and creates yet another ad for all to see.
Re: Re: Kikkoman
“I will trade my new gallon of Kikkoman soy sauce for the hello kitty boom box if it works or something else, let me know and where you are located. Please email me at the address posted. thanks Derrick or call 816.xxx.xxxx”
Notice Derrick slides in the little “if it works” remark, signifying his mistrust for Anonymous from Chinesebuffetsville. I get the feeling Kikkoman was really hoping for a Kawasaki Ninja, this being a strange asian themed exchange.
How about a couple more:
Wanted: Someone to tattoo me!
“I really want to get my chest piece done, but I’m broke!!!”
Somebody please help this guy out before he uses another exclamation mark. Certainly any amateur tattoo artist can fill in for a professional. I mean who needs somebody who knows what they are doing, when you can save a few bucks.
Licensed professional counseling for barter / may give as gift too – $100
Happy birthday, honey! You’re gonna love this. Ms. Simmons is going to help you with those voices you’ve been hearing at night! Now blow out your candles!
My Football / Hockey cards for your Video games
No way, I fell for that back in the fifth grade. Never again.
Will work for Goose Decoys (Overland Park)
I hear they don’t pay too well chief.
I got a Game Cube, you got some firewood? (Northland)
Forget spankings, now THAT’S how you discipline your kids.
And finally, my absolute favorite:
“This is what I have, what do you have to trade for them??”
Hmm, let’s see, a musty futon, that folds in two positions, a cracked one-eyed turtle sandbox, and rusted barbells laying in the weeds. As a friend of mine would say: “How about I kick you in the nuts and we call it even?”
Cheers!
September 20, 2006 at 11:24 pm | general, humor | No comment
