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I had to go through a new exercise that I’m not used to.  I’m working with a couple people on a website, and I needed to write contracts for everything, in order to protect and benefit everyone.   I looked at the task as a necessary evil.  It was time consuming and something that I needed to do before anyone even agrees I can get paid, so every minute working on it, is in hopes that it will result in a closed deal.  There’s no guarantee that what I write, can in effect kill the intention of the contract in the first place.  One or both interested parties could back out.  Then I’m left with an unsigned useless piece of paper.  Whew I’m tired…

Regardless, I had to do it, thinking positively about it.  Turns out something happened that I didn’t expect.  While writing a contract, you have to search for words with the right meaning, not just kind of the right meaning, you have to consider what you can and can’t agree to, and how to present it.  You also have to go back over it multiple times, removing problems with the logic.  I know no one would go for this just as an exercise by itself, but I actually doing it was quite valuable, in that after completing it, I think my brain has grown some new neurons or connections.  I actually think I got smarter writing contracts.  And that’s not to say my contracts are perfect, or bulletproof.  I’m sure they are flawed.  I was constrained by time and experience.  But I did however start to see new things, and again just logical thinking, using factually descriptive and consistent language to create these documents was even satisfying at the end.

I can  see how lawyers can get quite good at this. Much of a contract is repetitive sort of lingo.   Words used and understood inside this special  framework that, once you know, turn into words as we know them, like emotional or logical tags of sorts.  Some of it feels very foreign as if from an older different culture.  I think by thinking this way, by exposing yourself to the limits, or benefits or extensions a contract creates, you then take from that a slightly more logical brain perhaps.   You look at how to use exceptions, and what you can and can’t include according to your status and how the contract affects someone’s ownership of an actual tangible thing, or in property of an intellectual nature.

Now, based on this experience in any discussion in the future I may be more aware of the consequences of a certain type of argument and whether it was presented responsibly.

So men, let’s go out there and write some contracts!

January 17, 2008 at 7:47 pm | learning, writing | 2 comments

I bought two laptops today

My wife doesn’t know this yet, and she’ll probably punch me, but I bought two laptops today. This purchase was based on a long-term, well-thought-out impulse buy. So what’s up? Well I’ll tell you and maybe you’ll buy two laptops as well. But you don’t have much time to get this kind of laptop. Oh and it’s a $400 direct hit on the wallet.
One Laptop per Child

Over a year ago, I heard about an initiative called the “One Laptop Per Child” (OLPC) project created by a guy named Negroponte. His mission was to create a way to help educate children in 3rd world countries. He decided he could create a communications and learning device to do this. But he knew he’d have major challenges bringing this to fruition. A device would have to be electronic, but work with all the problems that poorer regions have. His idea became a laptop that would overcome as many of these difficulties. It would be low power and have a means to self power, with a hand or foot crank. It would be shock resistant, easy to use and a very open platform. His initiative grew to an organization and is working with governments to see about getting as many of these into schools as possible.

People, myself included have said that these countries need water and basic necessities, not computers. Not true. In fact, that kind of thinking is very one sided. You see, there are thousands or more villages that have school houses, they have systems in place where kids learn. But they can be given a great resource. I’m a bit concerned that this initiative will make the machines vulnerable to theft. This could be true, but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be tried.

The organization originally was only going to build the laptops and supply them in bulk. But they decided that the demand was so strong that it would be a great idea to allow western countries get them too. But with a limit. There is only a two-week window which the laptops can be bought. And the two that I bought, I only get one of them. The other is a donation to somebody. After reading about the laptop, it appears to be something I can use and may even solve a problem I’ve had lately with a project I’ll be releasing in the next couple months.

I like being as philathropic as I can, but I’m fairly selfish too. I’m of course writing off half of this purchase as a charitable donation. The other half will be written off under my company, as it’s a work related expense for special projects I’m doing. In particular as a communications device as well as the tablet stylus features I’ll need.

Some really cool features of this laptop:

There’s a lot more to it, and once there’s a hefty community here in the US, more things will be shared and configured among the techy and education crowd. Plus the world over using it will introduce more cool configurations and possibilities. If I can write articles from it in the car and on trips, it’s really valuable to me. It can also be a good platform to program learning games using flash for example. It might just be great to have in the living room to boot up and find out latest movie times.

If you want the best overview on this laptop, read David Pogue’s review in the New York Times and watch the embedded movie with the article.

This is a huge win of a purchase for me. I don’t know who’s going to get my 2nd laptop, but it’s an even bigger win for them. $400 is a lot of money and of course I won’t be eating for a few weeks. But how cool is it to contribute to a good cause, get a new gadget, change a few lives? It’s really cool damnit!

November 12, 2007 at 8:57 pm | computers, gadgets, learning, philosophy, tools | No comment

Media induced mind clutter and a simple matrix

I am a proponent of staying current, keeping my mind sharp and being active in the smaller and larger communities I belong to. I am also a victim of information abundance. From a personal high level of interest in all things, I create and allow distractive environments to fester. I think I will feel better with less. The other day I worked out the problem somewhat. I was feeling drained by so many things. My trouble was that it was too easy to become consumed of all bad things happening in the world and though I have compassion for most of it, I have nothing to offer to change or improve the situation.

I don’t believe that it’s best for any individual to take the burden of the world’s problems to bed with him every night. When I say that I also must stress that we all must practice compassion, truly practice it daily. We can’t ignore suffering because “hey at least it’s not me this time!”

Even having compassion, can we still understand the complexities and hidden arguments of so many issues we’re exposed to. Sometimes the right choice may be to throw it out entirely. Let others work it out. There is no foul on ignoring one thing in order to focus on more meaningful choices. Here is my matrix for dealing with the burden of media, news and world issues.

Media Burden vs Importance Matrix

You may find that effectively dealing with the over-abundance means cutting out everything that falls outside the marked category in the matrix above. If it affects you and you can do something about it (and you actually will) you will feel better overall, and experience less drain. Outside the marked realm, you are consuming interesting news stories that might cause pain or eat at your valuable time. Practice ignoring things outside the marked realm, yet remain compassionately detached.

Quick Example:

You read a story that a man dies by suicide, having jumped from a major city landmark near you. (This actually happened yesterday.) Unless you knew the person, it falls outside the realm of the matrix. It’s very sad and tragic, AND has the components of a newsworthy event in many people’s minds. Even geographically, you want to even say that it affected you. This story carries a burden with it. But instead of carrying the burden, you spend time interacting with one of your neighbors, creating a positive experience that you can take to bed with you. A lift instead of a burden. It’s an interesting life question isn’t it? Are we better off not knowing about tragedies? One can’t measure what the knowledge of a tragedy does to a person, when that person can’t do anything about it.

Cut off from many info sources, means extra time and life experience gained elsewhere. Be mindful over the next few days when you are reading or watching news. Where does each story fall within the matrix? Is there a sense that much of the “conflict” of the news is contrived, manipulated to appeal to your senses? What does this do to your well being? Is it time to detach from that source of news? Might you live better without it? My bet is that I probably will.

Things I’m doing:

Not watching TV news (Already do this)
Removing 60-80% of news sources from feedreader
Being mindful as I read the stories that filter down to me, fostering selectivity.
Meditate on what I can and can’t affect.
Reading books, to gain more complete knowledge to facilitate good decisions
Focus on benefits of experience with a person over reading news of past event I can’t control.

July 12, 2007 at 3:01 am | learning, media | 1 comment

The Homeless Man’s Watch

Still jetlagged, I was up for a lot of the night.  At 5:30 am I wanted to make the most of it.  If I couldn’t have a comfortable sleep, at least I would have a refreshing morning.  I decided to walk to the park.

I walked a couple blocks away enjoying the breeze, the rising sun and the lack of traffic on the roads.  I jumped on the path at the park and strolled.  Soon after I came across a park bench under a tree.  I’ve had a few short conversations and plenty of friendly “Hellos” at that bench the many times I’ve jogged around the park.  This time, a guy in a hat and a windbreaker sat there. I said ‘mornin’ to him.  He said “Whadaya Know?”

“Not much I think” I replied truthfully.

I slowed and paused for a moment.  He asked me “You don’t happen to know the time do you?”  From that and from looking at him, half empty 2 liter soda bottle by his side, I bet that he’d been there all night. He wasn’t out for a morning stroll like I was.  He might have just woke up from somewhere nearby.

I told him I wasn’t sure but it must have been close to six.  I didn’t have my watch or anything with me. He said thanks and I walked off.  For the next 10 meters I thought about how it could have been to sleep in the park all night.  Last night was mild, most nights aren’t. My neighbors and I talk about riff raff all the time, but that wasn’t this guy.  He was friendly for no reason.  I could make all kinds of assumptions, but what came to mind were these two watches I brought back home from Japan with me.  My father-in-law got these free Mercedes Benz watches for buying from the dealership.  They sat in his house for a while in the boxes brand new.  While we were visiting, he cleaned up a few things and asked if we wanted them.

I originally envisioned selling them in a classified ad, maybe making a few bucks off them, if it wasn’t too much of a hassle to carry or ship them home.

I smiled big.  I instantly imagined solving at least the one problem I knew for sure that guy had. He didn’t know what time it was.  I killed off the rest of my walk and went back home.  I dug up the watches from my father in law.  One of the watches was large and begging to be stolen.  The other watch, much more conservative, brown.  It would blend in, not stand out.  This one I knew was his watch.  I grabbed my keys and got in the car and drove back up to the park.  I went past the bench in the car before the park entrance. He was gone!

Pulling into the parking lot, I glimpsed his silhouette over at the barbecue pavillion with some other guy. His friend? If it was another homeless man, how could I give one of them the watch and nothing to the other?  As I started walking towards the pavillion, I could hear that the other guy was yelling at my guy. He was telling him to get the hell out of there.  “Don’t make me say it again!” he shouted repeatedly as he bit into some kind of breakfast sandwich.  Why was he mad at him?

My guy walked back towards me and as he passed, he looked at me and say “some people!”  I noticed that he had scrounged up an unfinished cigarette on the ground which he had relit for himself.  I didn’t know what to say to him. I was worried that the other guy would come over and hurt one of us.  So I let him go.  I pretended to be on a walk trying to avoid a glance from the pavillion sandwich guy. My confidence in the situation had sank a little.

I watched my guy cross the street. He was going to the FastStop gas station and checking out little piles of trash on the way in the parking lot.  He went in the store.  I walked in after him.  I pretended to browse the coffee dispenser.  I wasn’t sure what he might have been buying.  I made a little small talk with a clerk and walked out.  I waited for my guy.

When he came out, he had a tall can of beer in a paper bag.  Was that why he wanted to know the time? What time do they start selling beer in the morning? I asked him why that guy yelled at him. His story was kind of incoherent, but he made it seem like he knew that guy and later when that guy “smokes some water” he’ll come back and be friendly again.  Smokes some water?

I talked with him for a little bit.  I said to him, “remember you asked me what time it was?” And I handed him the watch.  He looked at it and started to cry a little.  I think he was happy.  I told him, “Hey don’t worry about it.  I got two of these and I just want you to have it, it’s no big deal.”

He was happy because he said he can tell what time he needs to be somewhere for an appointment. Usually he has no idea, and he’s just waiting around.  He went on to tell me that he didn’t have an ID and that he was wanting to get a bank account.  He showed me his nails because he works really hard doing odd gardening jobs.  I could only imagine it.  It was not the kind of life he wanted, but that’s what he had.  He had other stories to tell. Some I couldn’t understand fully.  But the kinds of little stories to tell me what kind of a guy he was.  I was happy to listen.  And he said it really helps him to talk to people.  We shook hands.

Why am I writing about this?  Shouldn’t I keep it inside? Have I gained bragging rights from my wonderfully good deed?  Not at all.  I am writing it because I want you to know that you should indulge  your ideas.  You should help people because in many ways, we are all locked on an island together. If only we can eliminate some suffering.

Frank has my watch.  His name is Frank. And I gather that for all intents and purposes, he’s a good man.  I hope I can see him again.  I hope that he doesn’t have to sell the watch, and it helps him for a while.  But if he sells it, that’s ok too.  I worry somebody will steal it from him.  I worry he will suffer because of the watch somehow. Some people need a little guidance, a place to clean up, or to know what time it is. A watch can help you make better decisions.  Better decisions can make a better life.

July 4, 2007 at 2:08 pm | learning | No comment

Contemplate death with each inhalation and each exhalation

I was sitting in the bedroom. It was an otherwise quiet night, when an intense emotion came over me. It was a realization of me. It was a brief daydream, a bright and heavy glimpse of what my last moment alive would be like. And more frightening, what the moment just after that would be. And it felt REAL. Oh my god, I’m going to die some day and I don’t want to die. Why did I think of this? Who knows where the thought came from but it made me sad, a very real sadness. My stomach churned and I cried a little. We all have to face many fears and pains in this life. Some are more fortunate than others for reasons unknown to me. But those of us living right now will die. When I’ve thought about my death, at that moment of my death I feel cold and alone and scared. Will I fade away inside my mind? Will I be aware one moment and then just gone? What is gone? Does it hurt to be gone? Do I go somewhere. What am I like gone or in a somewhere? If I’m old and my mind is dulled, does it become sharp again?

As you might expect I was very motivated to change my thinking. I decided to do a little reading to see if I could understand this. I searched for a passage of what Buddha might have said about death. I could have searched for Jesus or another passage from another wise person. But I chose Buddha, hoping I’d find something wordly and otherworldly.

Think about death with each inhalation and each exhalation. Usually passages from these types of writings don’t come so clearly to me so quickly.

I believe I understood it as this: We can feel better about our own death by inviting the feelings of fear and pain in. Most of us don’t see that kind of self-talk as valuable. It’s morbid, it’s going to depress you. You won’t be able to function. It’s better to focus on life and ignore death, sweep it under the rug, distract yourself instead right? That’s what I thought anyway. Minutes to hours later the opposite happened. As I began letting the thought of death in and keeping the thought with me, I felt a true new state of being.

Instead of the depression and feeling of dread I thought I would have consuming me, these active thoughts of my unknown, yet eventual death gave me an appreciation, a thankfulness of every moment I was having. I could appreciate any small conversation I had with someone else. Because I was there and they were there. I could be thankful for everything that was going in my favor at that moment. Things not going in my favor, well, do they matter all that much? Now I’m feeling better, not worse. Though I can only speak with a couple days experience with these thoughts, I can presume a few things. Let’s say I have some sort of interaction with a person or group that gets me down. Maybe I made a mistake and I become embarassed or feel as if I’ve failed. How long do you think those consuming and defeating thoughts will linger when I’m continuously mindful of my own passing?

Would you think thinking about death would ruin your sense of humor? I have been appreciating good humor more, and I can enjoy the person more in the funny exchange. What about dealing with others? Would thinking about death put you into this dead zone staring into space? Actually it’s made me more responsive. I want to hear what they say and be engaged with them. I want to respond thoughtfully and not shrug people off. Will thinking about death produce a bad omen of some sort or cause your death to happen quicker? I doubt it, but how could I know that? In my experience though, people who are talking about superstitions and bad omens often come to conclusions because of ignorance.

I hesitated some writing this entry. I both don’t want to bring anyone down, but at the same time, I want people to have an experience for themselves. Why hide it? What good does hide death in the back room out of sight and mind? For me, it was at first pain and fear to think about it. And then somehow maybe a new wisdom. I’m going to end this with a few questions for you to think about. Actually they are for me to think about and revisit and exercise.

  1. The things you own, you can’t take with you. Where should they go?
  2. Do you think mindfulness of death would cause you to behave more or less rationally?
  3. Can you go through some pain and dream about the death you are truly afraid of?
  4. What kind of death could feel like a good death for you? (Don’t say “no death” because it’s pointless to try and avoid this)
  5. In being mindful of your own eventual death, how does it affect your thinking and relationships?
  6. Thinking of people who commit violent crimes, murderers. Have you ever wished death on someone like that? What do you think now when being mindful of your own death?
  7. If someone isn’t of the same religion as you, but you feel they are an equally good person as you. What do you think will happen to both you and them?
  8. Can urgency and patience go together?

I have so much more I’d like to write on this subject, but I feel if you have read it and I’ve written it well, AND you have time to quiet yourself and really think it over, then you will be better. As for me, I’m going to head upstairs to bed. I intend to sleep well tonight. I intend to wake up to a beautiful morning with new experiences and thoughts. I’m looking forward to it.

June 17, 2007 at 11:28 am | interesting, learning | 4 comments

Try not to anger your one true fan

I sent my mom a small stack of my new business cards in the mail before heading off to Japan. I was really proud of them because Juri and I collaborated on them for a considerable amount of time. The card was also meant to be the symbol of my new business. We even made one side of the card in Japanese so we could show them off to Juri’s family and some other VIPs we are meeting with. I’ll also have to talk more about the barcode that I put on the cards at some point.

Anyway, after my mom recieved the cards, she fired up the old PC to look at my website and what I had been up to. I have always had the suspicion that everything I write makes her roll her eyes. She’s has been supportive despite the eyerolling thing. I wrote a post over a month ago about 25 things I had been thinking about. In it, I mentioned that I wanted to encourage my dad to quit smoking, but I often felt blocked by her. Seeking to deter conflict between my dad and I, she would steer me away from yelling at him about it. Isn’t that the true mother’s role in the animal kingdom? In order to continue the species, the mother must occasionally prevent the idiot son from getting eaten by his father for mouthing off about something he knows little about.

My comment that she was an apologist came from my perspective on several situations. But perspective, like perception doesn’t mean s***. Because perspective doesn’t show you that when you weren’t looking, your mom has been hounding your dad at every appropriate moment how his smoking will affect her and him in the future. Perspective won’t tell you how someone has been battling behind the scenes. Your belief in your own perspective can render you absolutely wrong. How many times do I have to learn this? If you scrubbed through my site right now, I bet you’d find tons of very uneducated comments that I would be embarrassed to recall if you reminded me of them. Even right now, I have to ask myself “Have I looked over this entry to make sure it really says what I mean? Will this entry bite me later? Will this entry hurt my number one fan when she reads it?”

If only self-editing weren’t so troublesome and time consuming. If only we could change our minds about a subject given new knowledge and have all of our old writings updated for us automatically. “Oh you see I don’t really hate people from Florida, I’ve righted all those wrongs, just check out my blog now!” We could be consistent instantly and always. Of course it wouldn’t be good for those of us who need to be truly held accountable for our actions such as presidents and dictators. But for those of us who don’t want to ruin their number one fan’s day, that ability would really help.

May 31, 2007 at 8:36 pm | family, learning, rants, writing | No comment

25 things I’m thinking about

1. I don’t introduce myself proudly enough or often enough. I can confidently say I’m a good guy.

2. removed (met that goal!)

3. Thoughout a month, I’m the most powerful and then the weakest person I know. I also cycle through being the most outgoing, fun, sad non-social, helpful, loving and off-the-wall. I think there’s no avoiding the bad spots, there’s no changing them, but I believe we all can change a state’s power and length. And though I read books from the self-help gurus, this one was actually from me.

4. I’m a pretty good video editor and animator, but I’ve become more of a perfectionist over time. Perfectionism can easily cause stress and procrastination. I do myself a huge disservice. If I would pay attention as a viewer more, I would notice that viewers are very forgiving or they just don’t notice the trees for the forest. Sometimes you have to just want to get it done.

5. When you start to wonder if having your own company is possible, just remember all the silly restaurants and shops and now e-stores selling things you’d never buy in a million years and WHO ARE DOING JUST FINE, or who might even be making huge profits!

6. I have an idea and I need some help with it. (thanks to those who have offered to help, but I can’t collaborate on it just yet)

7. Learn the art of revealing just enough, and letting people figure out your point on their own. This makes better stories. People love surprise and a chance for their brain to make the discovery. Don’t force it. Hold things back and see what happens. This is why poets deserve more credit.

8. If you ever take a friend or relative to a vacation spot or tourist attraction that you have already been, shut up and let them explore. It’s one of a few opportunities where you make the situation better by doing nothing at all.

9. A night of surfing webpages will never be as satisfying as learning to make something out of wood or paper.

10. omitted. I already figured it out.

11. The other day I called a company out of nowhere because I liked the way they created a 3D video rendering. I called out of the blue and said “Hi, you don’t know me, but I saw your video. I was wondering how you did special effect X in it. Is somebody there that might tell me?” What do you think happened after that?

12. Right now, it’s already dark outside, the ground is wet, and both are typical reasons why I would normally put off going for a run. As soon as I finish this, I’m going to run in it anyway. So there.

13. Dave Werner seems like an awesome guy. I’d like to work with him one day.

14. There comes a time in maybe everyones life they realize they will never be famous, ultra-important, or rich. This realization will depress some, and will be a huge relief to others. There are also the few that become famous and realize that it wasn’t all they thought it would be. Detachment can bring contentment I think.

15. I feel bad for people who listen to Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. Whether right or wrong, they are toxic people and should be avoided. And it’s a good thing to be watchful of your government, no matter what.

16. There’s no reason why many people couldn’t choose to cut their workday in half and spend the other half helping others through charity, participating in government to make things better, or to simply to give themselves have more choices the other half of the day. Culture doesn’t understand this. That is why sometimes you have to be different

17. I’m almost 30 years old and I spent yesterday afternoon riding skateboards with the neighbors kids. Our conversations were more meaningful than all of the chats I had at work that day.

18. Join and organization to create a new view. A view is like a path you could choose to go down which would probably lead to a new opportunity. You don’t have to follow these paths or views. But it feels really good to have them, to know that if something doesn’t work out, you COULD take one of them if you wanted. I believe if people had more views in life, you wouldn’t see so much depression and suicide among young people.

19. Try something, even if people are going to laugh at you.

20. My dad smokes cigarettes and I hate it. I’ve hated it forever. I had an idea the other day that I would mail him a letter every week with a freshly printed article about smoking and tips for quitting and handling the difficult addictions. I could have written 2 letters by now and I haven’t sent him anything. Why haven’t I?

21. I think practicing being yourself in a mirror would be a valuable exercise. Or better yet, using a video camera. We all should be able to master our best looks and expressions. That way we can communicate in the way we want to. It’s not just for actors, everyone would benefit from critiquing themselves.

22. My wife will never know how special she is to me.

23. A small part of me hopes this list will lead to something. But the bigger part doesn’t care and has enjoyed it just for the exercise.

24. The past two years have really started to feel interesting, where we the human race may be starting into the future that actually looks futuristic. I just hope we can handle it on all fronts. We need bright people to make sense of it, to steer everyone in the right direction.

25. We can all have a new beginning at any moment.

March 26, 2007 at 9:47 pm | friends, general, interesting, learning, nostalgia | 3 comments

My InDesign CS2 video series at Atomic Learning

My InDesign CS2 Series is online. Mike Smick InDesign CS2 Atomic Learning.

December 19, 2005 at 2:52 pm | design, graphics, learning, training | No comment

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