Politics suck

I have become disgusted with politics mostly because I can’t appreciate it as a spectator any longer. In trying to pay attention and get the whole story, it’s impossible to whittle down everything and get to the truth. The media’s sensationalism, the chosen stories reported, the quotes and all the meaningless banter has an enormous negative effect. I posted a few entries about politics this past year. And I’m disappointed by it. I’m disappointed that I got so involved in many ways. I’m disappointed in the way things have turned out. People aren’t listening. People are telling lies. People are seeing candidates through the lens of a background of mis-information. People follow words instead of facts. They get caught up in sentences and have no grounding in the constitution. Below are some points to be taken as my farewell to the day-to-day following. I consider much of this past year a complete waste of time.

1. We all have to be good helpful individuals, and make the best moral decisions we can based on the information we have. There’s no reason to give any extra weight to claims that have no evidence. There’s no reason to think that what has always been done is right. There’s no reason to assume you have any moral high ground based on the past. There is only now, there is only what you do to help others.
2. You may think that there is a vast conspiracy. And you might be right. But you probably are mostly wrong. Don’t trust or put faith in the political system. But also don’t think that you are alone in trying to create balance. Don’t feed more unverified claims into the mix. Strive for accuracy and truth above all else, no matter if you have a large following or not. Why? Because it’s the right thing to do. All it takes is one mistake or false claim and many of your actual truths can be disregarded. Don’t take the risk.
3. Turn off the television and ignore nearly everything related to politics. Focus on issues wherever possible and find your path to make a difference through initiatives. A phone call is better than nothing. Raise awareness in ways that you are capable. Don’t let conversations run into the ground. You probably won’t change people, and perpetuated divisiveness is the likely outcome both of reading drivel and pundits.
4. Don’t let others create divisions or try to separate people. Don’t let them make others out to be bad people, different or somehow less than valuable. They aren’t doing it for your benefit. They don’t know the entire truth. They are weak and their thinking is corrupt. Their minds are dark.
5. When you look at the world, your neighborhood, people on TV and you get angry, you are tired of people making messes, of trashing what used to be great, and you wish that things could be better. You are the only one that can actually affect that. By picking up a small amount of garbage, by having a conversation, by creating any kind of ripple, you are your answer and your solution. And you must do it often. And you will continue to be aggravated and you must relearn that you are the answer to the problem. If you ask yourself how somebody like you could make the change, you will get the answers that you can actually follow. A scary neighborhood is scary because you haven’t started the nightly walk organization, because you haven’t created a group that cares for good.
6. Meetings where people talk are fun. Politics works that way. Meetings are productive only in small ways. Ideas come from there, but meetings are not work. People don’t often collaborate at a meeting on actual work. They “plan” to carry out the work after the meeting. But the great ideas that come out of the meetings rarely can’t maintain their energy as they filter down through the budgeting, sub-committees and then to the real workers. Lawmakers and CEOs don’t know how to do the work. They are too used to having meetings and then having people do it for them. We need more working meetings.
7. The government’s money spent is your money. Repeat this and understand it. It’s constantly wasted everytime a frivolous initiative or lawsuit is carried out. Too many politician’s have a game where they take the issue of the day, act as though they have a huge vested interest in it and use it for notoriety, all the while taking your money to pay for promotion, lawyers, research etc. They no longer understand that it doesn’t belong to them. They are too used to spending any time they want. Real statistics and economics will reveal that the issue of the day is more likely an anomaly and should be gracefully ignored. Do your best to identify these sensationalized stories. Real important issues are buried because they are constant, continuous and boring. These are the ones that need attention and money.
8. Do more things for others. Because it’s good. When people are scary, get to know them. People don’t like to go to war with friends. People don’t like hurting people they know. War goes on because we haven’t done enough to create relationships.

July 1, 2008 at 7:03 pm | general | No comment

Changing things up soon

There are a million things I’m wanting to do with this page. And most of them aren’t going to get done. But I will be redesigning soon. I’m tired of the disconnect between my site and my blog. It’s time to create an easier system. Over the next few weeks, look for some updates to the design, and some new features added. I’m not trying to keep up with the Jone’s. I’m trying to make this creative outlet more accurately reflect what I do. And make it more fun and rewarding to build and to read. I don’t think this RSS feed will last, so look out for it to end, if you do subscribe to my site. Another RSS feed will be created though.

July 1, 2008 at 6:21 pm | general, nothing | No comment

Renew your plates on Missouri’s pile of trash plate-renewal website

It was that time again for me.  Renew my plates.  I used to go downtown and do it.  Then I remembered that even though the lady at the desk and the ladies at the window are usually nice (when I’m prepared), everything else in between, the metered parking downtown on shitty one-way streets, the long lines (not always though) I decided it’s better for everyone if I just do it online.  After doing so I realize that somehow the MO plates website has been made to mimic the annoyance of the real life DMV.

Here’s my walkthru because you have a few minutes.

Our story starts off ok at plates.mo.gov.  Right at the top, a single big link to “Click Here to Renew Plates Online” cool!  Or maybe not so cool.  I’ll explain in a couple points.

1. Quickly it all goes to hell.  Next we have a long list of reasons why I won’t be able to complete this process.  A bunch of exceptions. Thanks for the vote of confidence.  Just like the mean ladies downtown.  Why not shove these on a sidebar m’kay?
2. After the exceptions list we have the prominent “Click Here” button.  That must be it.  It has to be, I’m so tired of reading exceptions. Well actually it’s not it. ‘Click Here’ and a page tells me my renewal is not complete.  No kidding.  That’s why I’m here.  Site error? After trying that button 5 times, I realize I’m not experiencing a site error, it’s just a horribly placed and vaguely labeled button.  That button is to  check if my renewal went through. It’s for people who did this 5 days ago and want to verify the system accepted it.  Why is this “click here” button here? The first site page told me to this page to renew my plates.  If I wanted to check my already renewed status, that option should have been on the very first page.  I’ll repeat this just so it sinks in.  On the “Renew my plates” page I start off with reasons why I might not be able to renew and then just under that we have the unlabeled link to check my renewal.  Oh but it gets better.
3. After figuring out the first half is not applicable, we scroll down to “Getting Started”  Wait, what?  I thought I already started 10 minutes ago? Oh that’s right, the first 10 minutes you are just playing with yourself.  Duhh.  If you haven’t realized it yet, this chunk that says “Getting Started” info needs to be placed at the top.
4. Next we have a big orange panel of what we need.  Now were talking.  I like strong color backgrounds used for emphasis. This colored list is good Except for #6, you actually do not need your insurance card to do this.
5. Next we must agree that we won’t submit false information and a reminder that’s against the law.  I’m kind of mixed on agreements these.  As someone who would never do that, it seems cheesy. I’m also not sure this will matter to one who intends to insert false info.  Oh well it’s not too annoying.  “I agree, please continue.”
6. Enter your pin and license plate#.   Aw dang it.  What is my plate #.  Why didn’t that nice orange box tell me I needed that?  Oh good it’s on the paperwork.  You see if I took the time to find my license plate, the session would have timed out in a matter of a hundred seconds idle time.  Then I have to start over.  Thanks.
7. After entering my pin and license itt verifies my information. Cool,I’m in the system! That’s convenient right?
8. Then it verifies your information again (pay special attention to the way your name is listed there).
9. Then you have a form that says “enter ID and product code. But then it says if you aren’t from X counties you don’t need to do option one, move on to option 2.  Interestingly option one, which is the product code area, isn’t actually labeled as such? But that has to be what they mean right?   Hurray! I can skip to option 2, Jackson County has it’s privileges!  Option two isn’t labeled either, so go ahead and muddle your way through that, which is the best way to fill out critical government forms anyway in my opinion. Hope I’m right.
10. Option 2 is Fill out your name, address, city state etc. (as printed on your tax receipt, and they say damnit make sure if your address has two lines, then use both address lines of the form. ) Ok, Ok I will.  I need to follow the format of the tax receipt. I’m fine with that.  But wait, why am I even filling this out again?  You already showed me that you had my information.  You verified it to me 2 or three times where you made me agree it was correct.  This is just another chance for me to make a mistake and get kicked out again.   And…
11. Error, (I’m paraphrasing) “You need to fill out the appropriate information.”  That’s vague.  So I DID need the product code and ID from Option 1?  But I don’t have a product code or ID on my tax bill.
12. So maybe just a temporary error.  I’ll try again…Error, And again, keep getting it.  WTF?  I read the error page thoroughly.  It mentions I might need cookies enabled.  And it links to instructions for IE and..Netscape Navigator?  Jesus, that browser isn’t supported any longer and is unmistakenly dead.  I’m using Firefox.  Then I wonder is this a Firefox issue?  I’m going to be really mad if Firefox isn’t supported and netscape is.  And what about people on Mac using Safari? Screw this, I’ll go to the horrible unsecure Internet Explorer in order to submit my legal information over the internet.
13. Now I’m in IE, ladadadada,  doing it all over again. Then I notice something.. When it makes me verify my personal information twice, it shows my name as Last, First M.  I didn’t notice it the first time because it’s just a quick verification.  Wait, you don’t think that I need to print it that way on the next page do you?  But I followed the tax receipt, like they told me and on the tax receipt it was printed normally.  Ok, I’ll try it.
14. Blammo, it works. Thank GOD.
15. Then 38 seconds of screaming, one broken coffee mug. Who in the hell is going to realize this naming convention? I’m lucky. I spotted it by pure luck. Everyone else is going to get pissed off and bring their anger to the DMV office.  Why do they want this?
16. Ready to pay?  Great!  Simply fill out your personal information AGAIN.  AHHHHH!!!!! You already have my info!!! WHY WHY!!!!
17. Next, do you want to pay by Credit card or E-Check?   (It’s a trap.  I remember it from months ago. Pay by credit card and it will cost you a few dollars, and an e-check is 60 cents charge) Obviously I’m gonna go with e-check but how many people don’t realize this?  Yeah everybody else.  Later and on other pages, they call these “convenience fees.”  Hey DMV dickwads, It’s more convenient for YOU if I pay by credit card or check, because it eases your lines, your parking and your employees.  And yet you make ME pay for YOUR convenience.  And even though it’s just 60 cents, FU.
18. Next we have the longest processing time ever.  I am on the supposed double-fast DSL and it just creeps along. Normally I don’t complain about this kind of thing, but if this was dial-up, it’s totally gonna time out on me.  After all that work if it times out on me,  I’m grabbing my torch and saber.  If it happens to time out, it won’t tell me if the payment went through.  Then everything’s in limbo.  Then I’m going to call the DMV, take up their time and give them the 3rd degree.  So, find a fast way to process payments. Period.  And if it costs more, you fire one guy from your web team who created this monstrosity and pay for it that way.
19. Lastly we end on a good note.  A decent 1 page formatted receipt that we can print out.  But the happiness of that is quite thin because going back to point #2, because I received this notice that it went through, why would I come back and check that ridiculous ‘Click Here’ button on the front page to verify my renewal.  I suppose I could somehow forget that I didn’t renew and I come back to check?  Given the rarity that would happen, it makes that “Click Here” button at the beginning seem very dumb for it’s placement.

Ok DMV, see ya next year.  At that time I’ll need an inspection so it’s gonna be even more fun.  Oh if anyone from that website group reads this.  Maybe consider spending about 2 hours, with some pizza and a couple testers to just walk through the paying process like I did.  This should never have created this poorly.  Clearly there was no testing done.  Or there was, but everyone was completed drunk when they did it.  And you know what.  I know that if their web guy or girl does read this, she’ll be upset.  I’m sure you are a nice person web guy/girl.  I don’t mean for you to get down in the dumps.  But you first need to admit this is bad logic, programming and design, and never do it that way again.  Because though you think it’s no big deal and my posting is much too offensive, It’s you who have caused pain to hundreds of thousands of people by doing this, including your co-workers who answer calls and have to pick up the pieces from a broken process daily.

March 28, 2008 at 8:55 pm | computers, general, rants, webdev | No comment

What makes websites lame

So I was reading this page, 21 Factors that influence website first impressions

I started writing this long comment on that posting, and after about 80,000 words I thought, “screw improving this guys site with my genius comment, I’m writing my own posting.”

So here it is with a dark and negative flavor. Let me start with my fist annoyance. Some time in the past few years, some guru destroyed the internet by convincing thousands of web developers and bloggers and marketing scammers that the best way to drive traffic to their site was to create “Top Ten” lists. The top ten is the new sex. It sells. Unlike sex, Top Tens have gotten really old. And so have top 5, 20, 11, 99 or any other kind of list. You are not David Letterman and your list isn’t nearly as useful as you think it is. In fact, it’s the least enlightening thing I’ve read all decade. But surely it got you some visitor traffic. Which is my problem with it. The average butthead is reading your stupid post when they should be reading thought-provoking nine page articles on foreign policy that aren’t getting the attention they deserve. That highly educated journalist is starving while your dumb ass just made enough adsense money to buy an oversized shower head from Amazon.com.

Just to be clear here, I’m not making fun of the author(s) I linked to above from Vandelay web design. This is about lists in general. His wasn’t too bad, but I skimmed it, which is another problem with these lists. They are so easy to skim, they encourage you to stop reading paragraphs all together. Which encourages fake learning through unfocused consumption. That’s what TV is for. Here on the web, we should have higher aspirations.

Speaking of potatoes au gratin, heres my next problem with lame websites. Now that 27 inch monitors are like $18 bucks, everyone has them. Which means that 9pt font size that used to be great back on EVGA, now looks like hollywood hacker type. And Jesus, please stop using Verdana. It’s really gross. I have been told that at one point Verdana had a purpose, but since I just told you not to use small type, you know now that you musn’t use Verdana. It has sucked since 2001. Especially for headlines. Ugh. When I think of Verdana, all I can think of is if Madonna had a sister, she would be named Verdana and she would be disproportionate, ugly, unfunny, lonely and always eating sugary cereal.

The next problem, or if you want to be a corporate wimp, the next “challenge” is the site that looks to be legitimate news site but is swelling from bias and propaganda. One of these is foxnews.com, but it’s not the worst surprisingly. I’m way too tired to even look for them, but they are bound to pop up somewhere for you. They are ruining everything, mostly because they are written by conspiracy sheep or the wrong kind of republican. So if you ever think you want to make a community based news site, let me totally encourage you by saying go for it, as long as you can actually tell the truth.

Next we have sites with imagery dysfunction. In other words, you don’t know how to work with graphics whatsoever, and yet your site has more graphics than a Tijuana hooker? I guess, people long ago, back in 1995 had nothing to do but build very horrid gif animations and offer them as freebie downloads, while making popup advertising money. Those who bought or downloaded those spinning candy cane horizontal lines, or the 3D cats, or anything blinky decided that their website might get lonely without them. I mean hey, who needs white space when you can have that sweet hit counter?

Continuing on, there are still about 500,000 sites out there with background colors that will blow your ears off. There aren’t laws of the web, but let me just write the first and only one. If you are making your first website, you are allowed to use for your background, either #FFFFFF or #EEEEEE as your background colors.

More graphic fun, my personal favorite in fact, the stretched image. This particular problem shouts out that you A.) used MS FrontPage Express to make your site and B.) you don’t care about human proportion at all. What kills me is that it’s nearly always a womans portrait photo that is stretched the worst. The type of woman who spends womanly-time putting together her best look, the public speakers, influential lawyers, and yet being stretched and gaining or losing 100lbs in the photo somehow goes unnoticed for years.

Add to that, processor eating javascript effects, mostly which are totally useless. My latest one is the moveable sidebars. Who started this? I don’t want to drag around your sidebars and customize your blog. Besides, its not like it saves changes anyway. Just make them static. If I want to stylize websites, I’ll make my own browser stylesheet or use Aardvark firefox extension to remove or add things to your pages. If your site was any good, you wouldn’t have to bother with these javascript toys anyway.

I also hate bad forms. Forms that don’t indicate they were actually sent, or ones that request too much information for their purpose. Or my favorite, the ones that make you type in dashes for the phone number. But hey, your arbitrary database rules are much more important than my time aren’t they? It’s not like you could spend an extra 5 minutes implementing a few checks. How about Law #2, no more requesting phone numbers. What you want to call me? We can have an intimate conversation on the phone. You think I want you to call me? I’ll bet 98% of the shady looking shopping sites out there asking for YOUR phone number aren’t listing their own phone number for you to call. And you know what, here’s website law #3. Online Survey’s must NEVER have any required fields, except maybe a spam captcha. I’m doing YOU a favor by filling your survey. You gotta be pretty goddamn cocky to think that your radio button selections cover the gamut of my experience with your product. If I want to leave a question blank then you let me do it, or I will abandon you forever. Shit-for-brains.

I also despise signing up for things, so stop bugging me about your newsletter and how it can deliver your content to me often and more efficiently. I’ve seen every manner of newsletter popup, slide in, roll down. Screw off will ya?

Meh. I guess that’s about it. As all the top ten lists promise, if you follow these directions you will be successful. Now stop reading this crap and spend some time with your family.

November 28, 2007 at 7:08 pm | general, publishing, rants | No comment

Learning online and the drive to specialization

Adobe’s CS3 software package is out now. They include with copies of the suite(s) tutorial movies on what’s new and what is cool and things to help you justify the enormous amount of money you just spent for a couple plastic discs. After creating several tutorial series on Adobe software myself, both within my job and through freelance gigs, I’ve paid attention to how competitive this market has become. Google Video and Youtube are major players, though these videos are typically garbage, created by teenagers with absolutely no plan of attack for their tutorials.
We all want to learn how to use the shortcuts of the trade without thinking. We want to go from brain to finished product in a few filter effects and blend modes. We want to make the best decisions without the growing pains of making worst ones. Now is a better time than ever to be able to learn online. You can pick up almost any piece of software and learn the basics. Adobe and my favorite Xara have included movies with their help files to teach you their latest versions. So what gaps can a teacher fill these days? As always, specialized knowledge is the path to a successful career and life. We can still teach specialized knowledge, going beyond the basics.

The tutorial series that haven’t been created are the ones that teach you 25 specific things about Photoshop that you can use in the field of forensics, using techniques from real world examples. To stand out in the world of tutorials, you need a quality series. I’d say a minimum of 10 tutorials of five minutes each make a decent series. Or maybe 3 excellent 30 minute long tutorials could qualify too. Specialization is how you find your pupils and those willing to check out your offerings.

Here is a list of tutorial series that would make me pause and check them out.

1. Creating an interactive image gallery in Flash
2. Modeling a bathroom in 3D using Blender or Maya etc.
3. Detecting photographic fakery (with example workshop photos)
4. Modeling a human in 3D
5. Creating a walk or fight cycle in 3D
6. Motion capture to final video game or movie scene (even if I can’t afford the equipment myself)
7. Texturing a house
8. Comparison of 3D programs (doing the exact same task in each to see which is best)
9. Comparison of 2D vector graphics programs (same as above)
10. �Drawing cartoon characters (because the books always suck anyway)
11. Installing a window or water heater in a home.
12. Cleaning (anything and everything)
13. Building a brick wall
14. Creating an LED mood lamp (with lights and electronics and the whole shebang)
15. Create and program a space invader or car race flash game

Why am I even writing about this when so many people are already doing these kinds of things? Because you can really make a difference by creating your own series. You can pass on culture, you can share a bit of yourself, you can creative authoritative credibility. You can drive traffic and create a following. Everyone has specialized knowledge. And many people are looking for it, or just have that strong curiosity. And you can make money from it, still. So get started!

May 3, 2007 at 12:18 am | general | No comment

25 things I’m thinking about

1. I don’t introduce myself proudly enough or often enough. I can confidently say I’m a good guy.

2. removed (met that goal!)

3. Thoughout a month, I’m the most powerful and then the weakest person I know. I also cycle through being the most outgoing, fun, sad non-social, helpful, loving and off-the-wall. I think there’s no avoiding the bad spots, there’s no changing them, but I believe we all can change a state’s power and length. And though I read books from the self-help gurus, this one was actually from me.

4. I’m a pretty good video editor and animator, but I’ve become more of a perfectionist over time. Perfectionism can easily cause stress and procrastination. I do myself a huge disservice. If I would pay attention as a viewer more, I would notice that viewers are very forgiving or they just don’t notice the trees for the forest. Sometimes you have to just want to get it done.

5. When you start to wonder if having your own company is possible, just remember all the silly restaurants and shops and now e-stores selling things you’d never buy in a million years and WHO ARE DOING JUST FINE, or who might even be making huge profits!

6. I have an idea and I need some help with it. (thanks to those who have offered to help, but I can’t collaborate on it just yet)

7. Learn the art of revealing just enough, and letting people figure out your point on their own. This makes better stories. People love surprise and a chance for their brain to make the discovery. Don’t force it. Hold things back and see what happens. This is why poets deserve more credit.

8. If you ever take a friend or relative to a vacation spot or tourist attraction that you have already been, shut up and let them explore. It’s one of a few opportunities where you make the situation better by doing nothing at all.

9. A night of surfing webpages will never be as satisfying as learning to make something out of wood or paper.

10. omitted. I already figured it out.

11. The other day I called a company out of nowhere because I liked the way they created a 3D video rendering. I called out of the blue and said “Hi, you don’t know me, but I saw your video. I was wondering how you did special effect X in it. Is somebody there that might tell me?” What do you think happened after that?

12. Right now, it’s already dark outside, the ground is wet, and both are typical reasons why I would normally put off going for a run. As soon as I finish this, I’m going to run in it anyway. So there.

13. Dave Werner seems like an awesome guy. I’d like to work with him one day.

14. There comes a time in maybe everyones life they realize they will never be famous, ultra-important, or rich. This realization will depress some, and will be a huge relief to others. There are also the few that become famous and realize that it wasn’t all they thought it would be. Detachment can bring contentment I think.

15. I feel bad for people who listen to Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. Whether right or wrong, they are toxic people and should be avoided. And it’s a good thing to be watchful of your government, no matter what.

16. There’s no reason why many people couldn’t choose to cut their workday in half and spend the other half helping others through charity, participating in government to make things better, or to simply to give themselves have more choices the other half of the day. Culture doesn’t understand this. That is why sometimes you have to be different

17. I’m almost 30 years old and I spent yesterday afternoon riding skateboards with the neighbors kids. Our conversations were more meaningful than all of the chats I had at work that day.

18. Join and organization to create a new view. A view is like a path you could choose to go down which would probably lead to a new opportunity. You don’t have to follow these paths or views. But it feels really good to have them, to know that if something doesn’t work out, you COULD take one of them if you wanted. I believe if people had more views in life, you wouldn’t see so much depression and suicide among young people.

19. Try something, even if people are going to laugh at you.

20. My dad smokes cigarettes and I hate it. I’ve hated it forever. I had an idea the other day that I would mail him a letter every week with a freshly printed article about smoking and tips for quitting and handling the difficult addictions. I could have written 2 letters by now and I haven’t sent him anything. Why haven’t I?

21. I think practicing being yourself in a mirror would be a valuable exercise. Or better yet, using a video camera. We all should be able to master our best looks and expressions. That way we can communicate in the way we want to. It’s not just for actors, everyone would benefit from critiquing themselves.

22. My wife will never know how special she is to me.

23. A small part of me hopes this list will lead to something. But the bigger part doesn’t care and has enjoyed it just for the exercise.

24. The past two years have really started to feel interesting, where we the human race may be starting into the future that actually looks futuristic. I just hope we can handle it on all fronts. We need bright people to make sense of it, to steer everyone in the right direction.

25. We can all have a new beginning at any moment.

March 26, 2007 at 9:47 pm | friends, general, interesting, learning, nostalgia | 3 comments

I have no bookstores in my neighborhood

For whatever reason, the only bookstore in my neighborhood has closed up shop. They were given about fifteen days to shut down right after Christmas. It’s not a sad story of the small business being run out by a big dog, I mean it’s a Waldenbooks, owned by Borders. The store was in a mall that connects to the back of a Target store so surely it was doing enough volume to pay the rent.

How is the closing of a bookstore somehow news or significant? I suppose  it’s not, but it’s just economically interesting because my neighborhood has every other shop under the sun, but is strangely devoid of places to buy books.  Sure I can go down to the Plaza and hit the four story Barnes and Noble. But I just expect more considering we have about ten drugstores, just as many hair stylists, five grocery stores. I would call my area upscale Kansas City metro area. Am I the only one noticing this gap? Maybe Borders is looking to make a change of direction? They have their large scale stores with the cafe and places to site. Maybe the relaxing larger bookstore is what people have come to expect. Waldenbooks and B.Dalton really don’t have that kind of atmosphere whatsoever.

The closing was a good thing for me in the short term, giving me 40% off two books I had wanted for a while.  The sad part being that I had developed a routine with my wife to visit at least once every two weeks or more often to look at the true crime, computer and magazines.

So I am extremely curious when and how the gap will be filled. It just has to be filled right? I really could use some reassurance, somebody or some company that’s going to realize the void and step up.  I can imagine a Half-Price books fitting really well close by my house next to the Indian restaurant. I’d really love a family-owned store and cafe.  I’ll entertain that my perfect world,  within walking distance, I’d love a bookstore / smoothie / crepe dessert place. We don’t have a smoothie shop in town so I think we are ready for that too.

January 25, 2007 at 4:38 am | books, general, nostalgia, rants | No comment

Craigslistings to cheer me up

If you haven’t found Craigslist, it’s free classified ads 24/7. Easy, useful, valuable. It’s also a lot of laughs too. I loved some of the entries I recently read. I figured I could share them without much trouble.

The barter section was interesting tonight. Here are a few:

“Have a vacation…Give me your used electronics and whatever else”

Do you want my wallet too? Wait, that’s not a knife is it?

“I need diapers, what do you need?”

Whoa, relax there now and be careful what you wish for. You might find yourself writing another entry just moments later like..
“No longer needing diapers..thanks”

You get the feeling either their shit storm cleared up, or they couldn’t handle all the heckling they recieved by email. Also I like this because instead of deleting the entry, which is what you are supposed to do, they thought adding a new one would cancel out the old one more efficiently.

Or how about the guy who can’t seem to get rid of the…

One Kikkoman Gallon of Soy Sauce for Trade

“I have a new unopend gallon of Kikkomann Soy Sauce that I am willing to trade for something. Please email me at the listed address. Thanks Derrick “

A gallon for trade? I suppose it’s safer to barter items like that. Keeps the IRS off his back. Or he’s trying to screw his wife out of the one thing she really wanted in the divorce. Besides, surely no one would ever figure out it only costs 3 bucks at Costco for a gallon of the black gold.

But there is a silver lining to the soy sauce problem. Someone named Anonymous person responds to the soy sauce ad with his own ad.

re: kikkoman soy sauce trade

Are you interested in a hello kitty boom box?

This online exchange, so beautiful must have manifested for my sheer amusement. If you don’t know about Craigslist, it’s pretty simple you read an ad and then just email the poster of the ad at the given address. But this guy decides to put up his own ad in response. This genius named ‘Anonymous’ according to his ad lives in or around Chinesebuffetsville which I suspect is north of the river somewhere.

Alas, Soy Sauce man, again fails to go through the proper channel, and creates yet another ad for all to see.

Re: Re: Kikkoman

“I will trade my new gallon of Kikkoman soy sauce for the hello kitty boom box if it works or something else, let me know and where you are located. Please email me at the address posted. thanks Derrick or call 816.xxx.xxxx”

Notice Derrick slides in the little “if it works” remark, signifying his mistrust for Anonymous from Chinesebuffetsville. I get the feeling Kikkoman was really hoping for a Kawasaki Ninja, this being a strange asian themed exchange.

How about a couple more:

Wanted: Someone to tattoo me!

“I really want to get my chest piece done, but I’m broke!!!”

Somebody please help this guy out before he uses another exclamation mark. Certainly any amateur tattoo artist can fill in for a professional. I mean who needs somebody who knows what they are doing, when you can save a few bucks.

Licensed professional counseling for barter / may give as gift too – $100

Happy birthday, honey! You’re gonna love this. Ms. Simmons is going to help you with those voices you’ve been hearing at night! Now blow out your candles!

My Football / Hockey cards for your Video games

No way, I fell for that back in the fifth grade. Never again.

Will work for Goose Decoys (Overland Park)

I hear they don’t pay too well chief.

I got a Game Cube, you got some firewood? (Northland)

Forget spankings, now THAT’S how you discipline your kids.

And finally, my absolute favorite:

“This is what I have, what do you have to trade for them??”

Hmm, let’s see, a musty futon, that folds in two positions, a cracked one-eyed turtle sandbox, and rusted barbells laying in the weeds. As a friend of mine would say: “How about I kick you in the nuts and we call it even?”

Cheers!

September 20, 2006 at 11:24 pm | general, humor | No comment

Celebrating 9/11 anniversary by getting the hell out

I read the other day a story over the wire about how different kinds of patriotic American’s are spending the 9/11 anniversary. Being a loyal citizen, on 9/11 I decided to go to Canada. Toronto is a pretty nice place. Of course, being on a business trip, I’m locked into the work agenda. It’s too bad because the Toronto Film Festival is going on as I write this. I remember watching the movie “Bowling for Columbine” where Michael Moore goes to Canada and talks to all kinds of people. Some people there can’t remember when the last time somebody was murdered. I thought, wow pretty quiet place.

Turns out the night before my arrival, three people were killed in a nearby hotel, one was dead in the hallway next to the elevator, two were found in the room. According to the news report, one victime was “found dead on the wall.” I can’t really picture that one. The report didn’t give me the chills like I’d expected, but one of the detectives or a public official of some kind said for the camera “up there it’s a mess, an absolute mess.” I laughed at that for some reason. At least he didn’t say it was complete carnage. I blame American film actors or my own presence in this country for raising the murder rate. We have that effect on people.

September 12, 2006 at 5:38 pm | general | No comment

How to pitch your design work like a mattress salesman

I had a meeting the other day about making a website for a potential client. This was an associate of a friend of mine that is starting up an HR business. Sometimes when I want to get a freelance job, I will mock something up without being asked. This was easy for this client, she had no website, no logo or anything. I used an existing template I had created some time ago and added a simple logo, some dummy text, a few buttons with some appropriate names. The mockup was pretty quick to throw together. At most I spent an hour and fifteen minutes on it.

My approach on my original cold call to her was “Hey, I know you don’t have a site and that’s bad. You need a way for people to read more about your services. Look at how quickly you can set up a site.” And I sent a long a link to my mockup. My thought was, she is a one person act, doesn’t know much about this stuff, probably wants to ease into a website by going the cheap route.

The little bit of initiative I took paid off. It always does in case you were wondering. I got my chance to interview with her to talk about a potential relationship. I saw it more of how I would be doing her a favor than anything else. I also made several assumptions of what I would be talking about. I should have paid more attention when she told me she was interviewing other designers too. But truly, I wasn’t in dire need for the client. It’s more experiential and relationship-building from my perspective since food is already on the table.

I took all these cues from her during our meeting at the bagel shop about pricing. I explained that a large site wasn’t necessary, she could rest easy. I had several ways to crank out a site with minimal time, one that though not as fancy, could be up and running in a few days. I’d also be happy to work with another graphic designer which she was possibly going to use as a branding and logo developer.
It was a pretty good meeting despite me not bringing any samples. I did bring a notepad and a color swatch book in case we got into planning. We never did but everything was positive and I was happy to meet her and try out this interview process that I’m not used to.

Some time went by (summer vacation delays) but I finally heard back from her that she went with another web developer, one who “works with a company that provides a full range of services to get me started and to support my site as it grows.”

Web development is pretty competitive and a refusal doesn’t really hurt me at this point having a 8-5 job, but I still feel that pang of “What did I do wrong?” I actually appreciate the chance to deconstruct the situation. And though her brief final email probably isn’t enough to work from, I’ll attempt to analyze what went wrong.

1. Assumptions – I went in knowing in my mind that this was a small time site. I was sure that there would be more time spent meeting than actual site work and that she would want to pay as little as possible and start small. And remember those cues I picked up on that she was concerned about price? Well of course those cues would be there. The question is what important cues did I miss due to my assumptions clouding my picture?
2. No examples or case studies brought to the table – Now that isn’t entirely true, because she knew that I did some work for an associate of hers. What was missing was printed out examples as a way to compare another’s situation with hers. Now the nice thing is, I don’t actually need to have done these websites I could use as case studies. I could just use them to feel out what this client might need or contrast from. I should have brought a range of case studies from the small time to the large scale site. three or four case studies would have done it. I also probably embarassed myself and my bad drawing skills trying to draw something on my notepad to illustrate a sidebar or navigation menu. Had I a few printouts, even Xeroxes, I could have just pointed to them.
3. Lack of relationship building | wrong model – I pitched the cheap, one and done self-sufficiency model when I should have pitched the service model “I can do anything you need, working with you on the cost and we’ll build it together. I’m be here long term.” My actual approach might have worried her that I didn’t want to spend a lot of time on it. We all know that when you buy cheap goods, the personal attention, care and precision are often compromised in the product. Who would blame her in having similar expectations with a ‘cheapo’ easy site. She doesn’t know I always go above and beyond because she doesn’t know me.

4. No proposal sent after our meeting – It’s obvious now why she’s going to go with another company. They probably assessed the situation, described all their potential services and then sent a proposal with a reasonable estimate. Was their estimate higher than mine would be? Probably so, but from her perspective, the money is worth it when you have a full service developer who tells you exactly what you can expect. I should have sent a proposal with an estimate, or sent a sales sheet that contains the services list and average costs of the packages.
5. Didn’t fall into the middle of the road – Most people don’t need the best expensive, but they don’t want the cheapest either. When I bought a mattress years back, the salesman had me lay on the absolute cheapest mattress in the size category first. Uhh, no thanks, I like my posture the way it is thank you. He then worked his way up through the middle to higher prices. At that point, I was wanting to get the best mattress I could afford because the salesman reminded me that my sleep was in fact important to me and affected by my purchase. Most people mattress shopping don’t want to pay for the hand carved oak bed set, but they aren’t going to get themselves a long term mistake. They want the mattress that is satisfying, one that will last a while, not one that makes them say “If only I would have spent a little more money for a better one.” A website, just like a mattress isn’t easy to get rid of. The mattress is already in place, you’ve dragged it up the stairs and covered it. The website gets printed on your business cards, email signatures, letterhead.
The final point of breakdown is that I failed to inspire something in my her. By going the cheap route the only inspiration or benefit is being finished quickly. But where was the sense of possibility or the feeling that the site was going to help grow her business? Right now, the other company or designer who may or may not be better than me is probably going to make more money than I would have due to instilling the sense of assurance and inspiration for her. Sure she could have only spent a couple hundred dollars with me and her site might be done already. Now she might be spending two to ten thousand dollars to have a killer site and a long term relationshop. Inspiration could have made it mine.
What matters at the pitch is the high expectation. One can always back pedal as they get more into that company’s proposal. With mine, I didn’t offer her anything else but the low end. I guess now I’ll have some extra time to work a little on my pitches.

July 20, 2006 at 12:22 pm | general | 1 comment

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