Damn Karate
May 5, 2006
When I was in 7th grade, I had two grade school friends that started in this Karate class. Actually the instructor referred to it as Kajukenbo. I’m not sure if it was a mix of different arts or just his catchy name. Anyway, I always loved martial arts movies, with ninjas and ninja magic. I mean I really loved them. At that time every friday night I was renting one of the 20 ninja movies at the video store and rotating through them, until I had seen them all.
So when my friends told me about this class, I had to get into it. I’m not sure how I convinced my mom to let me go. It was probably pretty expensive, but mostly just annoying being on Saturday mornings. Not only that, but I was so tired from watching movies friday night, I’d wake up and be late for karate class. Once I was there though, we would go through these drills. I remember when we learned to flip attackers over our shoulder. A fellow white belt would grab me from behind, and then I bend forward and pull their arm until they toppled over me onto the mat.
Of course I would try my new skill on my non-karate class friends. My best friend Tom was the acid test. Guess what? I couldn’t flip Tom. I couldn’t flip anyone. I got so mad, I spent two hours learning this and it doesn’t work. I was on the verge of tears. It was supposed to work, damnit it was designed to work. What happened? To this day, I still don’t have that answer. That’s why I’ve abandoned karate. Karate is dead to me. When was the last time you saw a real life karate fight that turned out good for the karate guy anyway? Still love the movies though.
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